A therapist charges $150 an hour to help you “process your resentment.” My brother and I charge $12.99, and the resentment processes itself the moment you see their face in the morning. Clinically proven by us.
Pick how much paper lands on their property. Prices start at $12.99 for a full squad strike.
Send the address. We'll handle it between 2 and 5 AM and hang the rolls. Your bad idea gets a night shift.
They wake up, step outside and freeze. You reply “wow, that's crazy” in the group chat. Oscar-worthy cowardice.
20 rolls. One car or a small front porch. Enough to say “you've been TP'd” without total annihilation.
Start small. Roll big.50 rolls. Front trees, bushes and the car get wrapped, driveway stays clear. Your group chat will talk about it until 2030.
Become a legend100 rolls. Branches, car and lawn get the full treatment, plus a reaction video if filming is agreed. No roof climbing.
Send the whole warehouseUpgrades the payload to deep brown shades. Make their yard look like a herd of majestic, yet digestively challenged elephants just threw a party in their trees. Visually traumatizing.
Upgrades the payload to crimson red shades. Transforms their peaceful suburban lawn into a literal horror movie set. Neighbors will call an exorcist. Perfect for Halloween or ending a friendship.
Who's gonna find out it was you? Hahaha.
No. Clean, dry paper only, no eggs, no paint, no climbing. We skip the job if rain is forecast.
Read the first question 😉
Probably the homeowner 🙂
Payment received. The crew is loading the car with rolls. Go to sleep and act surprised in the morning.